TIPS FROM THE WHISKY CHICKS
HOW TO AVOID THE PERILS OF DRUNK-DIALING
• The geniuses at Virgin Mobile now offer a booty-call-proof service. You just call a Virgin hotline, enter the number(s) you want to make sure you don't call that night, and then you're automatically blocked from making calls to those numbers until 6am, by which point you'll hopefully be passed out next to an empty pizza box.
• If you’re not a “Virgin,” write down the “dangerous” numbers programmed into your phone, give the piece of paper to your best friend, then erase them from your phone.
• Don’t drink. (Ha!)
HOW TO PREVENT/CURE A RAGING HANGOVER
AT NIGHT:
• As soon as you get home, before you go to bed, guzzle as much water as humanly possible. (Make sure you avoid club soda, or other fizzy drinks. Carbonation will speed up the amount of alcohol going into your blood and worsen the affects of the booze.
• Eat something. Preferably toast or crackers, which will stabilize your blood sugar (ameliorating that horrible, wobbly feeling) without upsetting your stomach.
• Some people believe that taking aspirin or Tylenol at night will somehow help relieve the next day’s pain. Not so—aspirin will upset your stomach and make a hangover that much more painful. Acetaminophen (Tylenol), is even worse—when it mixes with the booze in your blood, it could cause some serious liver damage. And your liver’s been through enough grief for one night, don’t you think?
• Take a multivitamin. Alcohol has flushed away all the vitamins that naturally stimulate your body’s defense systems – leaving you completely unprotected. A vitamin helps by replenishing some of the vitamins you've pissed away during the course of the evening.
• If you can handle the acidity without throwing up, drink some orange juice. Vitamin C is essential, because it speeds up the metabolism of the alcohol by the liver.
• More water (but make sure to use the bathroom a few times before passing out to avoid any “accidents!”)
IN THE MORNING:
• Drink more water. We find slurping directly from the tap is effective and soothing.
• Pop some Alka Seltzer (for curing a sick stomach)
• Drink Gatorade (for rehydrating through electrolytes)
• Avoid caffeine at all costs. While some people swear by a strong cup of coffee in the morning, it’s important to remember that caffeine dehydrates. Alcohol is extremely dehydrating and the reason why your head is pounding is because you’re dried out. Drinking coffee will only make this worse. It’s also a diuretic and will further upset your stomach.
• Try to eat as many fruits and veggies as you can throughout the day—grease, contrary to popular opinion, is only going to bloat you up and slow down the detox process.
• Beware of the “Hair of the Dog.” It’s a band-aid that will only provide short-term relief. By drinking a Bloody Mary with brunch, you’re just prolonging the inevitable and compounding an already bad problem.
• Remember, you’ve just had a mild overdose of a depressant drug. So if you’re feeling hypersensitive and wildly anxious, that’s normal. Call in sick to work and try to sleep it off.
• One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana
milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system. If this is too much work, just eat the banana – it’ll work wonders!
BASIC ETIQUETTE
“The customer is always right” does not apply in a bar where alcohol is being served.
• Don't order a drink unless you have your money (or credit card) at the ready.
• Do not scream “Yo,” “Hey honey,” etc. You will only wait longer.
• Have your order ready by the time the bartender gets to you. Picture this: you’ve squeezed your way up through the crowds to the bar, and finally get the (very busy) bartender’s attention. But then when she asks you what you’d like, you have no idea, so you turn around and ask all of your friends what they want – wasting everyone’s time in the process!
• If a bartender takes care of you, take care of her. No bartender forgets a cheap person’s face.
• Just because you like Neil Young doesn't mean everyone else does. Is it necessary to pump $5 in the juke box and play two WHOLE Neil young CD's? The only time anyone wants to hear that is at the end of the night when they’re winding down and ready for bed, not at prime drinking times.
• Would you walk into Banana Republic and expect a free pair of pants, just because you’ve shopped there in the past? No, so why do so many people expect free drinks and buy-backs? The bartender is under NO obligation to give away alcohol. Ever.
• If a bartender does buy you a drink, you should (a) make sure you tip generously and (b) not expect another freebie every time you come back.
• If it’s not cool for nineteen-year-olds to "bar neck" why would it be any better if you’re over 40? PDA is gross.
HOW TO SCORE A FREE DRINK
Nothing is better than a freebie, but in the bar world, there are certain rules of engagement that must be followed in order to attain a complimentary cocktail.
• The cardinal rule for getting a free drink at a bar is ironically, never ask for one! Just like in the laws of physics we learned in high school, there will be an equal and opposite reaction. In other words, you’ll be charged for every single thing you order.
• Read your audience, like bartenders are trained to do: if the person slinging drinks is really busy, don’t bug him or her. But if you have a moment to chat, be witty, fun and engaging (again, without being a pest!)—we love to forge connections to great customers and more often than not, that means a free drink or two.
• Tip generously. Mark our words: bartenders have memories like elephants and simply never forget the biggest (and smallest!) tips. If you take care of us, we’ll take care of you.
• If all else fails, you might need to just cut your losses and pay for your cocktails. After all, you wouldn’t expect to get a free pair of pants at Banana Republic just because you’ve shopped there before, would you?
HOW TO AVOID THE PERILS OF DRUNK-DIALING
• The geniuses at Virgin Mobile now offer a booty-call-proof service. You just call a Virgin hotline, enter the number(s) you want to make sure you don't call that night, and then you're automatically blocked from making calls to those numbers until 6am, by which point you'll hopefully be passed out next to an empty pizza box.
• If you’re not a “Virgin,” write down the “dangerous” numbers programmed into your phone, give the piece of paper to your best friend, then erase them from your phone.
• Don’t drink. (Ha!)
HOW TO PREVENT/CURE A RAGING HANGOVER
AT NIGHT:
• As soon as you get home, before you go to bed, guzzle as much water as humanly possible. (Make sure you avoid club soda, or other fizzy drinks. Carbonation will speed up the amount of alcohol going into your blood and worsen the affects of the booze.
• Eat something. Preferably toast or crackers, which will stabilize your blood sugar (ameliorating that horrible, wobbly feeling) without upsetting your stomach.
• Some people believe that taking aspirin or Tylenol at night will somehow help relieve the next day’s pain. Not so—aspirin will upset your stomach and make a hangover that much more painful. Acetaminophen (Tylenol), is even worse—when it mixes with the booze in your blood, it could cause some serious liver damage. And your liver’s been through enough grief for one night, don’t you think?
• Take a multivitamin. Alcohol has flushed away all the vitamins that naturally stimulate your body’s defense systems – leaving you completely unprotected. A vitamin helps by replenishing some of the vitamins you've pissed away during the course of the evening.
• If you can handle the acidity without throwing up, drink some orange juice. Vitamin C is essential, because it speeds up the metabolism of the alcohol by the liver.
• More water (but make sure to use the bathroom a few times before passing out to avoid any “accidents!”)
IN THE MORNING:
• Drink more water. We find slurping directly from the tap is effective and soothing.
• Pop some Alka Seltzer (for curing a sick stomach)
• Drink Gatorade (for rehydrating through electrolytes)
• Avoid caffeine at all costs. While some people swear by a strong cup of coffee in the morning, it’s important to remember that caffeine dehydrates. Alcohol is extremely dehydrating and the reason why your head is pounding is because you’re dried out. Drinking coffee will only make this worse. It’s also a diuretic and will further upset your stomach.
• Try to eat as many fruits and veggies as you can throughout the day—grease, contrary to popular opinion, is only going to bloat you up and slow down the detox process.
• Beware of the “Hair of the Dog.” It’s a band-aid that will only provide short-term relief. By drinking a Bloody Mary with brunch, you’re just prolonging the inevitable and compounding an already bad problem.
• Remember, you’ve just had a mild overdose of a depressant drug. So if you’re feeling hypersensitive and wildly anxious, that’s normal. Call in sick to work and try to sleep it off.
• One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana
milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system. If this is too much work, just eat the banana – it’ll work wonders!
BASIC ETIQUETTE
“The customer is always right” does not apply in a bar where alcohol is being served.
• Don't order a drink unless you have your money (or credit card) at the ready.
• Do not scream “Yo,” “Hey honey,” etc. You will only wait longer.
• Have your order ready by the time the bartender gets to you. Picture this: you’ve squeezed your way up through the crowds to the bar, and finally get the (very busy) bartender’s attention. But then when she asks you what you’d like, you have no idea, so you turn around and ask all of your friends what they want – wasting everyone’s time in the process!
• If a bartender takes care of you, take care of her. No bartender forgets a cheap person’s face.
• Just because you like Neil Young doesn't mean everyone else does. Is it necessary to pump $5 in the juke box and play two WHOLE Neil young CD's? The only time anyone wants to hear that is at the end of the night when they’re winding down and ready for bed, not at prime drinking times.
• Would you walk into Banana Republic and expect a free pair of pants, just because you’ve shopped there in the past? No, so why do so many people expect free drinks and buy-backs? The bartender is under NO obligation to give away alcohol. Ever.
• If a bartender does buy you a drink, you should (a) make sure you tip generously and (b) not expect another freebie every time you come back.
• If it’s not cool for nineteen-year-olds to "bar neck" why would it be any better if you’re over 40? PDA is gross.
HOW TO SCORE A FREE DRINK
Nothing is better than a freebie, but in the bar world, there are certain rules of engagement that must be followed in order to attain a complimentary cocktail.
• The cardinal rule for getting a free drink at a bar is ironically, never ask for one! Just like in the laws of physics we learned in high school, there will be an equal and opposite reaction. In other words, you’ll be charged for every single thing you order.
• Read your audience, like bartenders are trained to do: if the person slinging drinks is really busy, don’t bug him or her. But if you have a moment to chat, be witty, fun and engaging (again, without being a pest!)—we love to forge connections to great customers and more often than not, that means a free drink or two.
• Tip generously. Mark our words: bartenders have memories like elephants and simply never forget the biggest (and smallest!) tips. If you take care of us, we’ll take care of you.
• If all else fails, you might need to just cut your losses and pay for your cocktails. After all, you wouldn’t expect to get a free pair of pants at Banana Republic just because you’ve shopped there before, would you?
posted by WhiskyChicks at 9:59 AM
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